Beyer Blog

2010-10-17T19:36:00.000-04:00

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We have moved...our blog

2010-05-16T21:41:00.002-04:00

Come check us out. Long story about why, but it is work related reasons.

http://beyerbeware.blogspot.com/

Maddie Turns 3!

2009-12-17T21:32:00.001-05:00

Maddie is 3!!!

And she is a big girl now. Just ask her! She now has enough Cinderella's to put the Disney store to shame.

We celebrated 3 times. Once in Illinois. Once with Indiana family. Once with just mommy, daddy and Brady.

Each time we celebrated her birthday, Maddie would say, "It's my birthday again? Yeah!"

And what does a three year old want to do on her birthday? Go to Princess and the Frog of course. What every little girl wanted to do this weekend.

We all survived. Now on to Christmas!

13.1 Miles

2009-11-30T22:42:00.001-05:00

Well, it is official. I am signed up for the Indy 500 Mini-Marathon and most likely the half marathon in Nashville, TN by now thanks to my good friend, Nicole. So, what would possess me to do this type of insane thing? Multiple reasons are to blame. One of which is below.

I found this as I have been going through old pictures. You see that...me at 21. Me after a summer in St. Louis on an internship. Me at one of the skinniest times of my life. Why was I skinny? Well, for the girls in the picture I am sure they will remember some of my stomach issues. But, a big reason, I exercised.

So, I am taking drastic measures to get back to the leaner body. Now I just need to shed another 35 pounds and get my lung capacity up. I need support both emotionally and physically. I am sure this will also be a religious experience for the ages as well. God and I will be talking on a regular basis as I run. I will keep you up to date on my progress. Pray for me. Better yet, pray for Matt. You all know how well I like pain!

Good Girls Share...

2009-11-12T23:32:00.000-05:00

Yep, she's my girl. She snags my purse whenever I am not looking. She takes my stuff out and puts her stuff in. Unfortunately, she likes the really expensive purses and not the cheap purses I keep tossing her way. I try to teach my kids to share. So, now I get stuck sharing the Coach with Maddie on a regular basis.

Now, if I could only keep her pants on her...

Can We Say BASEMENT!!!

2009-11-08T21:36:00.000-05:00

Well, day by day, the basement is becoming the place to be. Especially now with our new tv. However, there is a lot of farming and book reading to happen as well.

Face of a Sugar Buzz

2009-11-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

Notice she is sporting her sequined headband even!!!

Athlete in Training

2009-11-01T17:06:00.001-05:00

By genetic makeup alone, my children are destined to be average athletes. Now, Brady is built like a fullback, but I don't see the NFL in his future. We have enlisted him in some athletics activities at the YMCA in Greensburg. To date, these have been non-competitive situations since Brady still cries on a regular basis or just flat out refuses to do what the person in charge tells him.

The most recent series allowed him to play t-ball, soccer, and volleyball. We now know t-ball or baseball is not his sport. (Big surprise, it wasn't his mother's either. I think I struck out more than I ever made contact with the ball.) Soccer, on the other hand, has promise in his future. Volleyball was somewhere in the middle, but I am not sure of any schools that offer boy's volleyball in the area. Halloween was his final class for this session. Here are a few candids.

Halloween Weekend was Full of Treats

2009-10-31T22:48:00.001-04:00

Growing up, I didn't celebrate Halloween. I wasn't raised in some weird religion either. Let's remember, I am Lutheran. My parents viewed Halloween as the devil's holiday and didn't want to acknowledge the devil in anyway, shape or form. Therefore, we could only participate in harvest or fall parties and activities. Now, there were a few years my mom slapped some clown makeup on us or we put on redneck farmer clothes. We went to Grandma's house and she loaded us up. But, for the most part, it was pumpkin carving, bonfires, and a little ghost in graveyard when the parents weren't paying attention.

With the Beyer children, I have let their little imaginations pretend to be something on Halloween. For the first few years, I chose for them. This year, they both vocalized what they wanted. Brady was very specific. He wanted to be the blue Batman with muscles. OK...and for the record Target doesn't sell any blue Batmans. Maddie just simply wanted Cinderella. So I found the costumes online and got them with three weeks to spare. Yes, me, three weeks earlier.

Last night, I had a girls night out with my good friend, Tiffany, whom I worked with at Farm Bureau. So, I got to go eat at Euphoria downtown and go to the Pacers game. And I got to sit about 12 feet from Larry Bird. Matt got to carve pumpkins. It probably was a good thing I wasn't there. From what I have heard, Brady had a paring knife and the pumpkin was his victim.

Maddie passed out after it was all over. Crayon in hand and everything.

Mama's Little Helper

2009-10-30T16:09:00.000-04:00

I am not sure genetically how it happened, but Maddie really is quite domestic. Whether in the kitchen or folding laundry she really is good help for only being two. I have been able to capture her a few times in action. Her favorite thing to cook is by far eggs. I think really because she likes cracking eggs.

Matt and I have both found her quite good at folding clothes and towels. But, let's face it, she is better at folding towels. I won't kid anyone, I am too.

Finishing the Basement. Alleluia!

2009-10-30T15:52:00.000-04:00

Well, since we are going on our fourth anniversary in our house, we are excited to finally see making the basement livable a reality. Matt has done all the work, let's face it. I don't have time to help much. When I have tried to help paint, I ended up having to quit thanks to Maddie's instance on helping. He laid the tile, hung dry wall, painted, and found someone to lay the carpet. I have helped move the toys out of the closet upstairs to the basement. For those of you who have seen the mountain of terror, it covers the entire floor in one of the extra bed rooms. Matt can be loaned out to any wife for a small fee.

Looking at the garage entrance

From where the bathroom area will start.

Looking towards the bathroom door with the bedroom doors on the left. Kitchen will be on the step up to the right.

Matt and Brady's room to do what they want. Which will mean tractor room. Brady picked the color. Any guess on his favorite color.

The toy pile. Lindsey please come help me organize!!

The closet they came out of from upstairs. I am sure it was a child danger!

Fall Days

2009-10-30T15:36:00.000-04:00

So, fall is here, whether I like it or not. The kids love the leaves. Just a few minutes ago, Maddie looked out the window and said "Oh darn it, all the leaves are blowing away." I am thinking, good. Blow far away so we don't have to rake. But the kids do love it.

We have it Apple Works and spent some timing playing outside. Brady is becoming a pretty good bike rider. Too bad we have a gravel driveway. Poor kid. At least he doesn't live on a gravel road like his mother grew up on. We have been counting down to Halloween for what feels like six months. Another count down I never lived through since my parents did not let us partake in Halloween activities. Watch for some fun costume pics.

Life Together: Authentic Friendships - Tools @ PurposeDriven.com

2009-10-26T16:46:00.000-04:00

Life Together: Authentic Friendships - Tools @ PurposeDriven.com

“But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

In Christian fellowship people should experience authenticity.

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It’s genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level sharing.

It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, superficial politeness, and shallow conversation. People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.

It’s only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, “If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other…If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 5:16 MSG).

Cousins

2009-08-27T19:28:00.000-04:00

We had visitors this summer. Gracie and Ben came over to play. Aunt Sarah and Grandma too! It was a very fun weekend. As you will notice, Maddie and Gracie like to dress a like.

Summer Fun

2009-08-27T19:05:00.000-04:00

The summer is winding down. Brady has had his first official day of four year old preschool. New teacher and all new classmates. He seemed to do just fine for a kid who doesn't adjust to change well.

Maddie wishes she could go, but I think three years of preschool is excessive. We have had fun at the State Fair. Went more times than I would like to admit thanks to my job.

The Past

2009-07-30T20:05:00.001-04:00

Lots of things have been on my mind lately. As I feel I am blessed with my life, there are still things that I struggle with. Unfortunately for my body is now suffering from emotional eating. I came across this quote and found it very fitting to remind me of why I am blessed.

What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.
~Author Unknown

The Fair Lover

2009-07-27T14:17:00.001-04:00

Yeah, got a pool and now climate change isn't panning out

2009-07-27T10:40:00.001-04:00

We now have a 28 foot pool in our back yard. Here are a few pics of the kids when Matt was filling the pool. Maddie is convinced she should be able to go shirtless as well. The pool hasn't gotten over 80 degrees much thanks to the global cooling that is going on. It still is fun for the kids.

Fair Season

2009-07-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

It is that time a year. The corn is tasseling, the sun is shining, and the animals are ready for fair. This year, Brady showed his heifer, Brownie, at the Shelby County Fair in Indiana as well as his pig. Batman, at the Iroquois County Fair in Illinois. He loved both fairs!

Our Backyard is Becoming a Child's Paradise

2009-06-10T16:29:00.000-04:00

Well, besides the endless time spent planting flowers, shrubs, tress, bushes, mulching, seeding, mowing, and watering, we are collecting quite the fun zone. The kids are even getting plants added to their areas.

What Happens When Momma Travels Too Much...

2009-06-10T16:19:00.000-04:00

Daddy buys the kids a TRAMPOLINE!!!

New Job

2009-03-21T13:21:00.000-04:00

So, as much as I don't want to admit it, I change jobs a lot. I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. But, I have found it with the Soybean and Corn checkoff offices. Agrinews recently ran a really nice story. Thought I would share.

New Livestock Director Wants to Unite Farmers

Water Color

2009-03-21T13:03:00.000-04:00

So, maybe I am crazy or maybe I just want my kids to be way more creative than I am. Either way Maddie and Brady love to paint. However, Brady really just likes having his water turn bluish green from the paint. The fun of being four and two.

Poop is good.

2009-03-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

Recently, I met Koen Ally. He is a dairyman from Belgium. His family made this video to show how good poop is! Pretty good for ameteaurs.

Princess

2009-03-07T12:25:00.000-05:00

So, Maddie is into fashion and everything that entails. Shoes, clothes, and accessories...

Now if I could just teach her markers are not a fashion statement.

Children's Museum

2009-03-07T12:17:00.000-05:00

While I had time off in between the jobs, Matt and I took Brady and Maddie to the Children's Museum. It was a lot of fun for the kids. Here are few shots of our experience.

Dreams

2009-02-10T08:13:00.000-05:00

Brady is now experiencing dreams. Or at least he is remembering them now. He told us the cutest story the other morning. It went something like this...

The other night, while I was sleeping, I was driving red tractors in my head. I was in my room sleeping you know and I saw me driving tractors.

Seriously, how cute is that.

Butchering

2009-02-04T19:47:00.000-05:00

You know what I find a bit nostalgic? Butchering. This weekend Matt and his family will kill 5 hogs and butcher them. This is something that was a common occurrence 50 years ago when my parents were children, but really in 2009 do we still kill our own food and process it? Isn't that what Wal-Mart is for these days?

However, as the recession continues to worsen, I am thinking maybe we are on to something. My grandfather has told stories of his younger days, which include the Great Depression, and how hey never felt it's full effects. He mentioned that they raised their own food, wore hand-me-downs, and played with their siblings. Well, today as most people live in subdivisions rather than on farms, the luxury of growing your own food has become nearly impossible.

So, I will enjoy my pork chops and fresh sausage that will be stock piled in my freezer. I would take a pictorial documentary, but PETA or HSUS might use it against me in the future. After all, they would love for all of us to be Vegans just like their leaders!

Daddy Time=Fun Time

2009-01-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

Being a working mom means that hubby has to pick up the slack. Men, however, were not given this sixth sense that mothers possess. The other night, I just wanted 30 minutes in my soaking tub filled with steaming hot water and that awesome Shea Cashmere bubble bath from bath and body. Matt gave the head nod and I sprinted for the opportunity. This is what happened.

Brady has also been able to enjoy the 10+ inches of snow that have accumulated over the last three days. Luckily, Daddy was able to rig the roof to cabbed tractor he repaired a while back into a sled. Brady loved it. Unfortunately, I was driving the truck pulling the sled, so I only got still shots. Madelyn decided riding in the warm truck was a better idea, so I couldn't even get her to sit on the sled.

Happy Birthday Brady

2009-01-29T14:59:00.000-05:00

Well, Brady turned 4 today. I still can't believe he is this old. We celebrated over the weekend with my parents and Matt's family. Brady had a Lightening McQueen cake on Sunday and was able to take cupcakes to preschool today.

Of course, the presents were also plentiful. New farm set from G&G Schleef, new red tractor from Uncle Adam and Aunt Sarah, new OshKosh Clothes from Mimi and Jason (thank goodness...Brady is in 5T), and some fun cars window clings plus a semi cab from G&G Beyer.
To say the least, Brady has had a great birthday.

Twitter, Plurk, Flickr, StumbleUpon...oh my

2009-01-22T10:20:00.001-05:00

Isn't it great that if you cannot occupy enough of your time on facebook, you can twitter, plurk, flikr, stumbleUpon and more. As I try to wrap my mind around all of this web 2.0 technology before web 3.0 slams us all in the face, I just find myself juggling my log-ins and passwords. If you would like to follow me on an other pages, check me out...not that it will be entertaining...

http://twitter.com/leahbeyer

http://www.plurk.com/leahbeyer

http://leahbeyer.stumbleupon.com/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beyerdairy/ (nothing has been posted yet)

Cooking...with the kids

2009-01-21T21:06:00.000-05:00

I am trying to do both Brady and Maddie justice by teaching them a thing or two in the kitchen. I am continually amazed by how little Matt knows in the kitchen. Just last night he was trying to make mac and cheese. He looks at me and asks, do I boil water first or just go ahead and put the macaroni in right away. Maybe he should spend more time with me when I am cooking with the kids. Here is a little peak at what happens when I leave the two children alone.

Happy Birthday...a month late on these...

2009-01-21T19:36:00.000-05:00

Madelyn Renee is 2 on December 12. I have to be honest, it makes me a little sad to know the baby will soon no longer resemble a baby at all. And, just so I don't get any questions, I am not planning on any more babies. This is it. Enjoy them while they are young. Well, Miss Maddie loves cinderella and Minnie mouse, babies and ponies. Here are a few of her favorite items from various celebrations.

Happy New Years!

2009-01-01T21:52:00.000-05:00

So, to my dismay, another year has rolled in again. It is hard to believe that I will turn 29 this year. 29. It is hard for me to imagine turning 29. So, to cope with 30 knocking on my door, I have decided this is going to be my year. To keep me accountable to myself, these are the things I am going to do to make this my year:
1. Lose 40 pounds. Seriously 40.
2. Run a half marathon. Just somewhere pound out 13.1 miles.
3. Open a brokerage account. I need to do it before I turn 30.
4. Enter a new recipe in a bake off. This may be difficult since I am trying to lose 40.
5. Spend more time individually with my children.
6. Read a book a month. Starting with the Purpose Driven Life.
7. Be more faithful and trusting to my God.

Will keep it at that.

She was raised on a farm...

2008-10-29T18:35:00.000-04:00

So, there is six more days to go till election day. Senator Obama has bought a half an hour on tv tonight...I guess I will not complain about watching Sponge Bob Square Pants on NICK this evening. Anyway, even though I have enjoyed the discussion regarding the candidates with both democrats and republicans, I am over it.

The governors race in Indiana has been interesting as well. An incumbant governor who campaigned on change, made some pretty major changes (including getting Indiana on daylight savings time which people still are complaining about having in place) that he campaigned on. Whether you agree with the changes he has made or not, he told us all he was going to do it during his campaign. I can't say that I agree with him all the time, but you can't deny that he has put Indiana back in the game. Especially since our only game seems to be agriculture and automotive and we all know being in the automotive game is not a winning game unless you have offshore headquarters.

Anyway, today I was told about an ad about how great Daniel's opponent is. It is humorous at the least, especially if you have seen Mitch's ad that is very similar.

Live from New York...It's Saturday Night

2008-10-24T20:57:00.000-04:00

So I don't even want to pretend I can stay awake on a Saturday night to watch SNL, but God bless NBC for letting me watch the segments on line. I know if you watch any tv, read any newspaper, or try to get on any news website you have about had it with the election. However, SNL really has done a great job of capatilizing on the election. I loved these clips even if I am voting for John McCain. You have to be able to laugh at yourself...

Oh, the pain of being thin

2008-10-15T10:55:00.000-04:00

So, I have gotten on the diet bandwagon again. I am doing stairs on my lunch hour again. But oh the pain. I don't know which is worse; the calf muscles or stomach muscles. To help reduce the pain in my legs I have gorged myself on peanut butter m&ms. Seriously, now I have to do 400 more stairs.

Luckily for me I have supporters. Unfortunately for me, they are 24 years old, have not had a baby or two, and still see single digits when they put on their pants. But, they are stepping with me and eating 100 calorie soup for lunch, so bless them. Between sliding scales from weight watchers, websites like hungry-girl and I can make you thin, and looking in the mirror I will remain on this regimen. It will work, I just have to hide the m&ms and get the carrots out.

Any body with a recipe for french fries that have a weight watchers value of 1 or a chocolate cookie with no calories, please share.

Homecoming

2008-10-09T12:54:00.000-04:00

I am going to the University of Illinois Homecoming this weekend. This will be the first game I will go to in which the CHIEF is not going to be participating in the halftime festivities. It is said that these traditions were degrading disrespectful to the Native Americans. I was always amazed, however, at the reverence and respect the drunkest of fans would give to the CHIEF. When the CHIEF would run out in between the Marching Illini, the stadium would become sober, almost somber. I never encountered a student, fan, alumni or even opposition act in a disrespectful manner. As the chief would dance and the body of fans singe the Alma Matter chills would go through my body. Anyway, thanks to YouTube, we will still be able to show our children the honor bestowed on our CHIEF.

How did we get in this mess?

2008-10-09T11:57:00.000-04:00

So, I thought this was interesting. I googled some of the facts. There is always two sides to every story of course. And let's face it they both have blood on their hands.

What happened to Leah?

2008-10-08T17:59:00.000-04:00

So, a pledge sister from college sent me this article titled "Old Yeller" from the Imperfect Parent website. Sounds about my speed. I swear to you all, this woman is living in my house...if you are a parent you will relate.

Old Yeller: Can You Hear Me Now

By Juliet Johnson

In my twenties, there were days – maybe weeks -- that went by where I never spoke much or even raised my voice. I had the comforting presence of a twelve-year-old girl walking quietly to church to sing in the choir.

Now I am this:

DON'T TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!

DON'T HOLD THE CAT BY THE HEAD!

LET'S NOT THROW DIRT!

DON'T CLIMB ON THE CAR!

DON'T SQUEEZE HIS NECK!

DON'T EAT GLASS!

WE DON'T PEE ON OTHER PEOPLE, IT'S YUCKY!

The stuff I yell at my kids is insane. The stuff I THINK about yelling at my kids is even worse. Yesterday, three-year old Emma is crying when we leave the dollar store without buying anything, and she suddenly can’t walk, she’s so tired her legs hurt, and I pick her up and we have to go into the traffic to get to the driver’s side of the car and she’s crying that she wanted to buy chips when a minute ago she was crying because she wanted stickers because she hadn’t seen the chips until we passed them on the way out (Pringles, they are really fun to eat, in that can) but the traffic is whizzing by and I’m thinking HOW’D YOU LIKE IT IF I THREW YOU INTO TRAFFIC??! THAT WOULD STOP THE CRYING! Then I picture her gone and no more crying, but then I’d miss her, and then I’m remembering crying stops after a while and I’m strapping her, still crying, into her car seat and thinking, horrified, my mom wanted to throw me into traffic, too, because if I’ve thought it, everyone’s thought it, the horror, and how we live through our childhood amazes me again.

I was never a yeller or an angry person until I had kids. Now, man, I can YELL. I can say all sorts of annoying things (“Don’t hit people with a stick. We don’t pee in the living room.”) and I think even worse things (“I don’t CARE where your sock is. How ‘bout YOU find the sock. HOW ‘BOUT THAT?! I don’t care if you hate spaghetti, you’ve killed my spirit,” etc.) The police action of being a parent is the biggest drag. You have to police everything, or they’d be constantly scraping the paint off the wall with screwdrivers. And my kids are relatively calm. My husband is better at handling all of that than me, because he relayed an important and true fact to me early on – everything bad that they do, it goes in phases. The biting might be really bad and scary right now, but next week, it’s magically gone. It’s quick.

“YOU MAY NOT HURT ANOTHER PERSON!!"

"WHY DID YOU PUNCH HER??"

"WHERE DID YOU PUT THE PENNY?"

"SHE WANTS HER PENNY BACK!"

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT??"

"WHAT IS THE MATTER?!"

"WHAT'S GOING ON??”

I’m constantly yelling like a blind person being ignored at a loud party. I can never be ahead of the danger, I’m always slightly downstream from it, hearing the yelling escalating, trying to throw or wave my hat to get someone’s attention. Here’s what I realized – no one is listening to me. I'm yelling because no one cares at all what I’m saying. I’m the necessary white noise in the background. I’m the TV turned up really loud with just static playing. The kids are still having their fight in the car.

“The tortoise loves me more than he loves you…”

“NOO!”

“He does.”

“NO HE DOESN’T!”

Me yelling, “THE TORTOISE LOVES YOU BOTH THE SAME!!" We’re in traffic on the Five freeway, there’s no exit out of this life that can come soon enough, I realize I’m going to be having these enjoyable yelling intervals not just for today until dinner time but FOREVER.

I am powerless. I can’t stop my mom from reading me the ingredients off a soup label first thing in the morning when I stagger out to make the kids cereal and she’s been up all night as a night nurse, and she’s telling me why each individual ingredient is important. I can’t help my brother who thinks Jim Morrison is alive and living in Oregon. I can’t stop the hole in the ozone layer. I can’t even get my kids to stop fighting for two minutes. Even with the yelling. Then I remember I never listened to my mother either as a kid. I never thought about my mom always yelling from the other room. Her anger was humorous, and not very interesting. My brothers and I would be having our battles over toys or food or the spot on the couch, or what to watch on TV, not thinking that the noise my mom was making in the kitchen had anything to do with us. Then suddenly she’d be looming over us, face severe, yelling something but none of us could really hear any of the words, because we were so struck by the comic look of her anger. Jeez, what’s SHE so mad about??

I see that look on my kids’ faces when I come in the bathroom and rip the squirting toy out of five-year old Nathan’s hand that he’s been using to spray soapy water directly into Emma’s eyes for the last fifteen minutes despite my rational voice saying don’t do that, if you do that again…don’t hurt another person… Then she’s still screaming DON’T DO THAT NATHAN!! And I come in and RIIIIIP, I throw the toy, the kids looked thrilled with this drama, I’m so mad and tired of the yelling and they stifle smiles and they watch me out of wonder for a second, and an ounce of pity, and then they’re happily playing again, for two more minutes, until the next disaster.

There’s futility there. I’m not really angry, I’m doing my job as the cop. I hate myself, too. The futility is that there IS no hope for this and every police action, except that you have to protect the injured party and establish and reestablish rules, constantly, every five minutes. They aren’t going to remember the yelling -- they don’t remember it a moment later. The yelling is reliable, like leaves falling in October. You count on it, but it doesn’t MEAN anything. The yelling is meaningless. Its presence just reaffirms for the kids that they aren’t living in a void. The mother duck will always come in and re-herd the ducklings. It’s just a louder kind of herding.

Also, when I yell, it makes Nathan yell, because he doesn’t like getting yelled at either. Then we’re both yelling, and making mean faces, and you can’t laugh because then they’d KNOW I don’t REALLY care if he runs after bunnies in the petting zoo or throws his sweater around glass ornaments in a tiny shop, or spits soda at the wall outside. Get off my car. GET OFF THE CAR! DID YOU HEAR ME?? Then there’d be NO rules, and there have to be rules or we’d be having candy for breakfast while painting directly on the furniture and dialing so many random numbers on the phone we’d finally connect overseas. The fireplace would be filled with gasoline and matches, scissors would be lying around everywhere next to permanent markers, and they’d be cutting up money and licking quarters. The fish would be drowning in handfuls of fish food, dirt and rocks would coat the bottom of the swimming pool, the bathtub would be ice cold, dirt would be the new shampoo and the Shrek soundtrack would be blaring. Wait a minute, things wouldn’t be all that different.

The kids don’t realize that I’m the only one working this party. They run the racetrack I’ve put down for them, and it’s a good run, that’s why there’s so much free time for all this glorious boundary pushing and the emotional joy ride I get of having to directly face my light side and my dark side, alternately, every minute of the day.

I’ll be glad to move on from this stage. I’d like to return Old Yeller to his former glory, a love story akbout a country boy growing up with his gentle yellow dog who suddenly goes rabid, and then there’s crying and a gun and tragedy looming in the background. But I loved that movie. It’s the love story that sticks with you.

http://www.imperfectparent.com/articles/articles274_1.php